Finding Your Vernacular

30 April 2022

Finding Your Vernacular

Brydie Mack

How does one find their original voice? Does it exist? And if so, where does it reside? More importantly, how does one extract it, and bring it into being? These questions have plagued me lately. For these reasons I have been absent from here, that is, from the digital page. While other obligations have also kept my attention bound, something more melancholy caused my eyes to swell. When in such a state, I always come back to truth. If something feels off-kilter, I know, a higher truth seeks salvation. In other words I question the “truth” of the situation. That is to say, the underlying integrity and intentions behind it.

This post came about after a short, recent journal entry of mine. I have included it here to give insight into how our Rogue Agents offer us an opportunity to gain clarity and perspective. Below is my entry, written in a quasi-free-form style. To preface, I write whatever comes to mind, without censorship. It is a process I use to engage with the subconscious.

26 April 2022

Under the purity of flame I sense an imposter. I worry if I will be understood. But at the same time I know that worry has no justification under the guidance of truth. Still,  I worry about the narcissism of writing from the point of I. More so, I fear the endless march advancing to nothing; going nowhere. Driven by an insecurity of no-how. A Neverland of broken thoughts. Ideas left to rot inside my head, entertained by flights that will never suffice. Or will they? Are they justified? Or are they the menace who seeks sabotage to satisfy a thirst for the impervious? Who are these imposters who believe it justified to riffle through my head? Identify yourself. Make yourself known. Declare your position. Victimism is cowardly. You are not an excuse to dictate terms. To make assumptions. To establish protocols and boundaries. You are a judgement in my head, one of many for that matter. Your position is heard. It has been relegated, without redactions and situated within the appropriate context. I will take it from here. Thank you. I neither seek, nor deny.

Amid this dejection I realised something important. Not something new, necessarily, but a quiet clarity that gave me solace. That is, the permission, from a psychological perspective, to accept whatever disposition I find myself. There is a tendency, at least in Western culture, that glorifies gain, or advancement by doing. That is to say, a belief exists where doing more equates to greater productivity, the implication being furtherance, or success. I would be lying if I declared this symptom to have no affect on me. Although I don’t identify as being particularly ambitious, I do sustain an appetite. So it goes without saying that when unsatisfied, I too am susceptible to hunger. Of which convention conveniently gratifies. But I know too well that this is a trap. Convenience is offered in contempt. Luckily, my independence is too strong. My desire for freedom stronger still. No matter how sweet the honey, my inclinations lead my intention toward action.       

Still, I question the intersection between authenticism and commercialism. In an age dominated by constructions of truth, media domination, and narrative complacency ruled by hearsay. I ask, where does truth stand today? And yet, in my darkest hours of cynicism, I hold truth to define individuation. Not that it is prompt, or even forthcoming when required. Sometimes justice is elusive, and I have no explanation for this. But surely, eventually, whether immediately evident or not, the truth must come full circle. It cannot be otherwise. And this brings us back to authenticity. 

One does not find a new voice. Nor can one be manufactured. Rather one accepts the courage to release the truth within them. In whatever form it chooses, without fear, without expectation, without censorship. When expectation subjugates reason, danger arises. Why? Because suddenly you are a slave to outcome. You are beholden to expectation, and if that reckoning falls short of your idealism, you render your efforts a failure. This is why so many intentions fail to actualise. Many would rather live with the possibility of manifestation, as an idea, floating in their head, then risk living with the consequences of that experience.

This is because they are gripped by fear. The notion of failure excuses them from their duty of living. But in truth, there is no failure. There are experiences, there are lessons, and there is metamorphosis. The final summation is transformation. We cannot control the outcome of our transmutation. We can only choose to raise our mast and set sail. We must surrender to the experience – be it as it may. We must accept our fate. Yet at the same time, we must realise that our actions determine our course. And our perception determines the quality of our experience.

The Process

There are four foundational components that each relate to realising your unique voice. 

1. Finding Your Truth 

2. The Courage To Act

3. Being Present In Experience

4. Accepting The Outcome  

Finding Your Truth | To find your genuine voice, that is to say, your authentic way of expression, there are a few things to be conscious of. The first relates to cultivating beneficial practices, and the second relates to avoiding adverse practices. It’s worth noting that being authentic sometimes calls for the confidence to be still, exercise patience, and wait for the opportune moment to act. If you can’t progress something rapidly, or in a desired fashion, this may be a cue/clue to pause, reflect, and reconnect with your intuition. Oftentimes no-action is more powerful than forced-action. As is the ability to say no to what is not desirable at any given moment.  Self-awareness, perception, timing, and considered action constitute the necessary ingredients required to express your truth.   

Cultivate Presence/Self-awareness – Intuition – Courage – Experience

Avoid | Emulation – Fear – Self-doubt – Procrastination

Action | The most important question to ask yourself with respect to:

Finding Your Truth | Am I acting from a state of Presence and Self-Awareness?

The Courage To Act | This is arguably the most important step. Without action, there can be no experience. And, without experience there can be no progress. Experience leads to one of two things: A lesson, or progression. In this sense, although all experience is beneficial to some degree, the aim is to maximise those that lead to progression, and minimise those that lead to regression. Hence, effective action predisposes one crucial caveat; that is Awareness.

To simplify this process, ask yourself this question: Why? Answering this question is important because having knowledge of the motivation behind behaviour creates space for self-awareness. Without understanding why you do certain things, you are less likely to be able to change the way you do things. Which, of course, affects the outcome. It is the intention behind the action that influences outcome. Whether pursued consciously, or unconsciously. For example, if you have an unconscious predisposition to people-please, what you are doing is trying to anticipate what they want. Your actions are thus predicated on these assumed wants. This is an impossible task. It will lead you nowhere. Instead, act from the integrity of your own truth. Again, to appease will only lead you astray. The reactions of others cannot be of primary concern. Cultivate the courage to be your own person, and act with honesty and integrity in your own time. 

Cultivate | Honesty – Integrity – Genuine self-expression – Independence

Avoid | Acting for reward – Expectation of outcome – Placating others – Being disingenuous 

Action | The most important question to ask yourself with respect to:

Having The Courage To Act | Am I Aware of why I choose this course of action?

Being Present In Experience | Whatever you do, endeavour to exercise Presence. Admittedly, this is easier said than done. Especially under stressful situations or even more generally when inundated with tasks, or just being surrounded by too many people. Presence takes practice. Essentially, Presence is the ability to be aware of one’s self, one’s environment, and others. I find it easier to cultivate awareness whilst engaging in simple, everyday tasks. That is, when at home, or when alone, or in the presence of close confidants. If you approach each task with intention and awareness you will naturally become more Present in everyday life.

Cultivate | Presence – Conscientiousness – Intention  – Respect

Avoid | Disorganisation – Overcommitting – Being distracted – Overreacting 

Action | The most important question to ask yourself with respect to: 

Being Present In Experience | Am I Present at this moment?

Accepting The Outcome | This one can be tricky. Often, the mind, or more accurately, the egoic self, is so invested in an idea that it becomes dependent on the outcome. It’s helpful to realise that this is a story that the ego has created. When ideas become fixed it can be difficult to recognise other opportunities as they arise, because tunnel vision has set in. When your story goes off-script, or the characters don’t perform as expected, chaos ensues. Frustration takes hold, and it’s easy to become disgruntled and fall off the reservation. 

The ego feeds on drama. It’s how it sustains itself. If you anticipate a certain outcome, expectation transpires. But success is not dependent on the particular outcome you have devised. Success takes many forms, and comes in many guises. It may not take the form you planned, but that does not make it any less successful. Success is relative. The greatest skill here is the ability to recognise opportunity amid the pandemonium. While a certain outcome may seem more advantageous, take counsel that in the experience there is a lesson that you must learn before progressing to the next stage. There is always a lesson. Sometimes the lesson is to point you in another direction, which will lead you to something far greater than what you had initially conceived.  

There is a time for contemplation, a time for reflection, and a time for action. Honouring each stage of the process will reveal the path of least resistance. 

Cultivate | Flexibility – Stillness – Open mindedness – Being perceptive

Avoid |  Rigidity – Rushing – Hopelessness – Urgency 

Action | The most important question to ask yourself with respect to: 

Accepting The Outcome | What is the opportunity here?

To reiterate, all four components are necessary and important to find your authentic voice. The key takeaway to remember is the action question for each. 

1. Finding Your Truth | Am I acting from a state of Presence and Self-Awareness? 

2. The Courage To Act | Am I Aware of why I choose this course of action?

3. Being Present In Experience | Am I Present at this moment?

4. Accepting The Outcome | What is the opportunity here?